Talk-to-you-about-you- By Dr Matluli Abbey Mdhluli

Take time and ask yourself: If you were not born, what is it that this world would have missed out on? When you die, what will this world miss by your departure? 

Weapons of self-destruction: Weapon 1: Making excuses and blaming others.

Would Africa, South Africa or Mpumalanga be the same without you? Will your community or family be the same without you after your death?

These are questions intended to push you to ensure that you deliberately decide to make a positive impact wherever you are and to ensure that you leave this world a much better place than the way in which you found it.

Remember, if you fail to add value in this world it means that you are raising serious questions about the purpose, credibility and value of your human nature and this world would do much better without you.
The first key step towards self-development and growth is to accept responsibility for your thinking habits, decisions, actions and life.

Life is about choices and decisions. Making excuses and blaming other people will never take you anywhere.
Excuses are one of the strongest weapons of self-destruction and blaming other people for your life will never change anything for your good.

Yes, you may feel good or better when you think other people are responsible for where you are in life, but take note:
Excuses and blame grow a victim mentality. Each time you blame others you lose control of your life, and you become a willing victim of situations and circumstances. Making excuses disarms your ability to learn or grow and it announces that you permanently expect other people to be responsible for you.

Excuses and blame program you to expect the worst all the time. These indicate that you are totally defeated in life, you always expect nothing positive to come from you or for you and you have already given up.

Excuses and blame breed a culture of endless defeat and hopeless despair.
This is an indication that you are mentally paralysed, and whatever that you think, say or do is just a waste of time. You do as little as possible just to be seen as doing something, without anticipating any positive impact or outcome.

Excuses and blame delay victory. You are not able to think rationally or constructively when you are focused on blaming other people, thus you will never grow or succeed on anything.
You empower other people to control you.

Other people come to know that without them you have no life. No matter how old you might be, they will always view you, regard you and treat you as a little baby who has chosen never to grow. Your success of happiness will always be on the mercy of other people, and they will control you as freely as they want, even when they are not with you.

It is easy and possible to move from failure to success. It is difficult or impossible to move from excuses to success.
If you want to grow and advance in life, the most important key is to decide to completely eradicate “blame placing” and totally destroy “excuse fabricating” from your life. Keeping such thinking habits will slowly but surely destroy you to irreparable levels. Disarm these weapons, throw them away and free yourself.

We request that you continue interacting with this column by providing feedback to the editor. We will continue to discuss more other weapons of self-destruction.

Till next time. Shalom.